Influential Male

One of the topics my therapist and I keep coming back to is my older son's lack of an influential male. Although he loves his dad they have very little in common and Callum isn't overly close to him so Kieron became his 'Influential Male'.

How can a little boy 5 years younger be so influential? It's easy really. Everything Callum was interested in Kieron copied: from skateboarding aged 4 to Top Gear, WWE to the Simpsons, Sponge Bob to The Lost Prophets. If Callum did it, liked it, disliked it, Kieron followed suit. So Callum was always aware that he has a younger brother who hero-worships him and follows his example in everything. Kieron's shark and dinosaur fascination was started by his big brother as was his interest in cricket and pool. If Callum said it was cool then it was. No questions asked. 

They were the best of friends when they were younger, Kieron accompanying Callum on visits to friends houses and football or cricket in the park. Kieron's friends mixing with Callum and Callum's friends looking out for Kieron whenever he tagged along. Kieron cheering Callum up if he had been told off and teasing him out of a bad mood.

During the last couple of years, Callum earned his pocket money by baby sitting during school holidays when I was at work and by the occasional school run if I couldn't get away from work in time. Gradually, they appeared to grow apart, but in reality, it was Kieron becoming more independent and increasing his social circle and own responsibilities. Also, Callum was allowed out later in the evenings, as befits a 15 year old, chasing girls.

So who do you turn to when your fan base has gone (as even some of Kieron's friends looked up to Callum), your irritating little brother no longer irritates and your perceived position in the family changes from older brother and middle child to little brother and youngest child (although I keep telling him he will always be older brother and middle child)?

No-one. Because the missing person is completely and irrevocably irreplaceable. He is Kieron.

Prize Giving

20th July is the year 6 prize giving at Kieron's school. It's only held for the year 6 kids as a goodbye event before they all go to their various secondary schools. I donate a book every year now and the prize is for the most environmentally aware child and it was instigated last year in recognition of Kieron's love of nature.

Kieron's passion with nature began when he was a toddler as everything Callum did, Kieron had to do too. Callum was into dinosaurs and sharks so Kieron copied. However, Kieron's interest evolved to include any living creature, from alligators to ants, lions to ladybirds. I became used to drilling holes in jar lids and helping Kieron to collect leaves and grass to make a habitat for woodlice which then lived in his room for a little while. Butterflies were chased, rather unsuccessfully and ladybirds told to fly away home as their house was on on fire and their children alone.

Later on Kieron would take bugs to school in the sleeves of his school fleece and aged 9 he got into a fight when a slow worm he put in the shade was then put in blazing sunlight by another boy. 

Often in the evenings, we sit and watch TV programmes about the natural world, one of our favourites being about the breed of apes with sticky butts. Underwater programmes are recorded to be watched again and again and the Richard Attenborough dinosaur series were bought on DVD.

We giggle at scenes of mating animals and I try to explain why camera men don't try to stop predatory animals from killing cute, fluffy baby ones. Sounds of "aaahhh" reverberate as mother animals nurse their young and Kieron pretends to be a baby tiger/bear/chipmunk to get extra cuddles. Animal sounds and movements are copied and Kieron rubs his head on me and pats me with a paw.

Animal and nature books adorn the shelves in Kieron's room, with shark books in pride of place, so today I took a book on mammals to his school ready for this years awards. And I hated doing it.

A beach kind of day

Today should have been a day on the beach. I could and no doubt will, write a lot about beach days.
Living so close to the beach, the kids and I have always been beach bums through the summer, so Kieron just slotted in to that life style. Unlike his siblings, Kieron loved sand from a very early age. Jade wasn't too keen at first on sitting on and playing in sand and Callum hated the feel of it to the extent that I could have plonked him on a towel and known that he wouldn't move off it. Kieron on the other hand learnt the first day that sand isn't edible, hurts if it gets in his eyes and is great to throw around.
Shell hunts, clambering over rocks and splashing through rock pools before investigating baby crabs heralded the start of summer. Until Kieron was about 2 1/2 I worked term time only so the end of term for the older ones meant 6 weeks of glorious summer fun. Up early, picnic packed and off to the beach, staying until the day trippers left and the beach was ours. Callum and Kieron would have the beach to themselves and would run around like whirling dervishes until the food ran out or the cafe closed.

Home-time involved running through the house into the garden and getting the hose pipe out to wash off sand before both boys jumped in the bath to get off lolly stickiness and salt.
Sleepy eyed children, glowing from the sun, sand everywhere I looked and a feeling of summer lasting forever.
Each day was a repeat of the last all the time that the sun shone. New friends made daily, castles and moats built at the waters edge. Kieron having his first wee in the sea, pulling down his trunks to do so! Buckets and spades lost and other ones found. Burying each other in the sand and splashing in the sea. Waiting for high tide so that we could swim without climbing over rocks and teaching Kieron to doggy paddle.
When I changed jobs, at first I worked part-time so we could still have as many days as possible on the beach. By then Kieron had started school so some of his friends were always around to play with if Callum wandered off with his mates. It became quite normal to be surrounded by little boys one minute then scanning the shore to make sure Kieron was safe if he wandered off with them.
Even after the new term started, we still went to the beach in the evenings and weekends until summer said goodbye for another year. Body boards, buckets, spades and cricket set all got stored  for the following year. Little did I know when I put everything away in September 2009 that I would never get them out again.